Input needed

Hello Internet! I’m in London. I know I last posted about hovering over a seatless toilet on a Balkan train, and I’m sorry to have left you with that image for so long.

I thought London would be a great place to be, for awhile. I’m staying with my friend Dave, who I met in Sarajevo; Dave offered to house me until I could find a job and another place to live, and staying here has been great. I have found a job, in a pub, which is nice!

London, though, is not quite fitting me. Many, many people love this city, and there’s no doubt that it’s fantastic. In London you will never run out of things to see or do, everything you can imagine is here.

It turns out that’s not what’s important to me.

What is important to me is living in an accessible place, where I can walk to work, where I don’t need to take transit for at least an hour to get anywhere, where I can meet my friends for drinks and not worry that I’ll never find my way back home if I’ve had a few too many. What’s important is feeling at home somewhere, even though it isn’t home.

I’m happy to travel anywhere, and experience anything, but when it comes to where I live, I need to be more picky. I think you all see where this is going.

I’m aching to go back to Edinburgh.

The first time I stepped off the bus from the airport in downtown Edinburgh, and looked up to see an ancient castle growing out of a dormant volcano, I knew I was in the right place. In London, well, most days I just feel like the weight of it might crush me.

I worry that fleeing back to Scotland might be giving up. Maybe I just need more time to get used to London; maybe once I know my way around a bit better it’ll be less overwhelming. But also, I have only five months left on my UK visa: would I rather spend that time trying to force myself to like it here, or living somewhere that I know I love? Yes, there’s places in the UK other than London and Edinburgh, but money-wise it doesn’t make sense for me to try and set up somewhere new on my own just now.

I’ve been struggling with this question, Internet. Please weigh in.


About aasaelsewhere

I like Saskatchewan fine, but am hitting the road soon anyway. First on the itinerary: Portugal, England, Ireland, then England again. I have Yellow Fever immunity, a pending visa, and a blank passport, and can't promise anything.
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7 Responses to Input needed

  1. andrea. says:

    Aasa! How is leaving London “giving up”? Giving up is when you really want to achieve something, know you can achieve something, and still quit. Like training months to run a marathon, and then quitting after 20 miles during the actual race. On the other hand, getting to a city, finding it doesn’t suit you, having GROWN ENOUGH to know what it is you DO want in a place, and going for that instead? That, my dear, is a freaking success. That’s what we ALL want out of life — the wisdom to know what we actually want and the courage to go for it.


  2. Cheryl says:

    Kudos, Andrea. That is sage advice. Aasa, it is something like beginning a book, realizing you really don’t care for it and knowing enough to quit reading it because there is no sense wasting your time. There is no obligation. There are other books. Very likely the second time you read “Of Human Bondage” you will get much more out of it than by continuing to read “The Da Vinci Code”. Go ahead and learn more about the highlands of Scotland.


  3. mom says:

    go back to Scotland…. I don’t like you in London either!

  4. mom says:

    oh yeah and you did leave us hanging way too long on the rickety toilet seat with you……………love mom

  5. Dani says:

    Take it for what its worth Aasa, but I think it’s a waste of 5 months to be in a place you don’t really want to be in. Come back to Edinburgh. The snow is beckoning you! Yes, it’s snowing 🙂

  6. Auntie Rhonda says:

    Aasa, I agree with the above, go to the place you love. You may not, in the end, be able to force yourself to like London and something exciting may just be waiting for you in Scotland. Your heart is trying to tell you something. It’s not about quitting, it’s about being flexible. So what do I know anyway. Just my thoughts, love ya. Auntie R.

  7. Marilyn Fischer says:

    Aasa….I just wanted to wish you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, and hope you get to “where you want to be”. Life is too short and you will soon find yourself home in good ol Canada wondering why you didn’t follow your heart when you had the chance to go back to Scotland!

    You go girl….have a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Its cold and snowy in Alberta (and Sask too!). Those lovely grandgirls of mine are coming on Boxing Day, which I can hardly wait for !
    Looking forward to the “Guy” game at Aunti Di’s on Boxing Day and seeing all the Wilson clan…your mom and dad will miss it this year…maybe Darren is safe (Shauna’s hubby) as your mom isn’t there to hit him with her stick!

    Take care…Love Auntie Mare

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